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June 28th, 2005

09:38 pm: i just got the news.
i just got the news about matt. i feel just terrible.

May 29th, 2005

05:39 pm: The only reason i have this journal is for you ashleigh.
Life here has been doing great. I have a boyfriend named Josh. He is a real sweetie. I talked to Matt the other day. He is still clean. He is right now living with his grandma and helping her out.

May 21st, 2005

10:39 am: it has been so long
i dont know what to say

April 3rd, 2005

12:54 pm: Terrible news
i went to the doctors and i have hiv. i have never been this scared in my life. the thing is i know who i got it from. it is either vincent or matt. they both have/had it. i dont know what i am going to do.

Current Mood: scaredscared

April 1st, 2005

06:14 pm: post this
okay everyone answer these questions about me and then copy and paste this to your journal and i will answer the same questions about you. if you dont have a journal that is okay. i will respond to what you say about me on my journal about you and you can check it later. if it makes you feel more comfortable you may post anonymous. REMINDER: BE HONEST AND PUT EFFORT INTO THIS THING.

1. What do you like about me?
2. What do you hate about me?
3. Do you think i am prettier?
4. Have you ever been jealous?
5. Am i your friend?
6. Have you ever thought about being my friend?
7. Am i your enemy?
8. If yes, why?
9. Have you ever talked about me behind my back?
10. Was it bad?
11. Do you ever think about me?
12. If yes what do you think?
13. What is something i have that you dont and want?
14. What celebrity reminds you of me and why?

March 30th, 2005

06:15 pm: hehehe
i havent wrote in this thing in a while. well things have changed. i moved to flagstaff and i met a guy named Mike. he is absolutely gorgeous. we have only been together for a couple weeks but i am thinking he could be the one for me. we dont have any diffrences and we never get bored of eachother. i really like him. what else has happened well i talked to matt and he is doing good. he is still with his girlfriend and they have been dating for a while. he is finally out of the hospital and it has been 3 weeks and he hasnt done any drugs. he has been offered but he turned them down. he finally got the girl he wanted and he is completely happy. we really miss you aj. i am glad everything is going good for you and jordan. you guys seem very happy with eachother. i am not sure what has happened between you, jordan, and marcia but i hope you guys worked things out. i dont do any drugs anymore. i havent in a couple weeks and i am proud.

i am very proud of you that you have turned your life around. at first i wasnt used to it and i didnt like how you were but now i do understand and i am so happy for you. i know alot of shit went down in your past. you have made it through the first year since vincent died. i know that was very hard of you to do. i thank jordan for being there for you through this time. i know you still miss lily a bunch because you guys were best friends. i know in your heart you will always remember vincent, lily, matt, and i hope me. i hope you will never forget about us. we all loved/love you and always will. matt and i have realized that it is time for you to move on and look forward to other things. there has been a few things i have kept from you and that i think you should know. that day when you tried to o.d. on drugs and i found you in the bathroom and we raced you to the hospital and they took you and called your parents. before i knew it lily, matt, me and your parents were all waiting. i went to the bathroom that was down the hallway and when i came out i saw lily looking in the window at you crying. i could hear the monitor go flat and then i knew that your life was over. than all of a sudden a doctor yelled she is pulling through and that was the first time you died and came back to life. that was the first time i realized how much you meant to me and lily. that was the first time i saw love in lilys eyes. i was so happy and at that moment you got a chance to start over and you did. i love you and i am proud.

Current Mood: depresseddepressed

March 1st, 2005

01:23 pm: nice
i went to the hospitol to see mat.he is doin good.he has cleaned himself up.i didnt think he would be able to but i guess i was wrong.he did it for someone he loves and hopes to win her back.i hope he gets what he deservs.he is now doing something that is good for him for this special girl.i still really like him alot.but we are nothing but friends.its better that way.i am very proud.

Current Mood: nerdynerdy

February 27th, 2005

02:13 pm: why me.
i broke it off with mat i though i new him but i guess i didnt. he has changed a lot and i am not sur on wut to do with him. he scares me now. i think this is the last time i post for a while.

February 6th, 2005

02:44 pm: dsasdsdf
So far me and matt have not fought. the thing is. when i am around him. i feel as if he doesnt feel the same about me as i do about him. his mind always seem to be on ashleigh and it really bothers me. will he ever change and just forget about her. they never had anything. i dont know why he is like this. he acts like she is coming back for him or something. i dont know. it just really bothers me. maybe it is time to just tell him to be just friends. i dont think i should date someone who loves someone else.

Current Mood: angryangry

February 5th, 2005

08:39 am: wow alot of shit has happened since i was on here. i cheated on corey. i feel like shit but then again it was just time to dump him and move on. yes i moved on. your not going to believe this but i am now dating matt. he was like my brother but the other night i kissed him and it led somewhere. i never thought i could love my best friend. it is actually weird. what else has happened. i dont really talk to aj anymore. i miss her a lot. i know she isnt coming back. i miss the old her. i dont know the new her. i just keep telling myself deep down inside her she is the same girl that was crazy. a party girl who always wanted to have a good time. i guess that side of her is dead. well christopher says hi to aj and that he loves her and to call him. that is one of the messages i was supposed to deliver 3 days ago. i just didnt have the time or energy. well that is all that has happened. oh yea and aj you stole my stars! my redish pinkish ones!

Current Mood: awakeawake
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